tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34717212012-01-25T10:09:20.433-08:00armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.comBlogger2811100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1133830351922319612005-12-05T16:42:00.000-08:002007-04-01T00:36:54.613-07:00

if i could just emerge from the rubble of wedding magazines and ribbons and dupioni silk and hot glue guns and contracts and invitations and catering menus--i would pull together more than a few words about these odd days. believe me, there is a ton of good writing material here. this metamorphosis period known as “planning a wedding”. i will simply say, this is undoubtedly a rite of passage. and

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1121668513683202132005-07-26T22:50:00.000-07:002006-09-02T05:15:42.763-07:00

i was sitting across my mom when she slowly turned the newspaper page she was reading and involuntarily let out a long, exhausted sigh. that single exhalation pretty much sums up everything i've been feeling about the news lately. in fact, i've found myself shutting off to it these days. i still read it online, as always. i still feel the usual pangs of frustration, sadness, anxiety, empathy. but

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1121318245981097652005-07-13T22:12:00.000-07:002005-07-13T22:19:05.676-07:00

things to do before i die:#112. ride a mechanical bull

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1121109299245464852005-07-11T12:03:00.000-07:002005-07-11T12:14:59.256-07:00

creativity has absolutely no sense of propriety. it shows its pretty head only when i have an ugly, long list of urgent tasks and looming deadlines at work, and only when i can’t give it any attention---except for sneaked-in moments when i hastily jot down blooming ideas as though they were love poems, and make for-later sketches on paper "borrowed" from the copier machine.the chief enemy of

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1120516151459035852005-07-04T15:02:00.000-07:002006-08-18T11:39:44.316-07:00

i've always been fascinated by old photos of strangers. who are these people, and how have their photos ended up being sold for a dollar at a sunday flea market? was the photo lost during a move or accidentally left inside the pages of a donated book? or more likely, have the subjects or the recipients of the photo died--and all value of the photo sadly lost along the way? will this happen to my

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1120243372795143292005-07-01T11:40:00.000-07:002005-07-01T11:42:52.803-07:00

this always cheers me up.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1120170464302523052005-06-30T15:15:00.000-07:002005-06-30T15:30:14.820-07:00

searching for wedding info online has been very, um, educational: "at parties, dinners, and other entertainments it is the privilege of the young man and woman who are engaged to be with each other more than they are with anyone else, but this does not mean that they should make themselves conspicuous by ignoring everyone else" from: etiquette in public, 1924"when speaking to a woman, who has

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1120092850485373382005-06-29T17:26:00.000-07:002005-06-29T17:54:10.516-07:00

lately i've been fantasizing about taking the day off and cleaning my apartment. seriously. while i'm getting ready for work i think i'd rather be doing laundry. i should be craving escapes to the beach or lazy afternoons at cafes or bare-footed walks on cool grass. but no. i'm tempted to take a sick day to take out the trash. it's pretty transparent, actually. i tend to go on cleaning fits when

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1119653843336848332005-06-24T16:30:00.000-07:002005-06-24T16:40:12.443-07:00

so long, adios, au revoir to the busiest work week ever! somewhere along the way, digging myself out from underneath mountains of words (in heaping piles of copywriting projects) became my daily occupation. but for the record, i'm NOT complaining. there isn't a day that goes by when i am not thankful for this. yay job! but more importantly, yay weekend! i plan on several hours of doing nothing,

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1118960039064236902005-06-16T15:12:00.000-07:002006-02-27T02:15:17.143-08:00

the singer was halfway through the second song of his melancholy acoustic set when we suddenly heard a harmonica playing along somewhere in the distance. the singer kept playing, despite the distraction. he had, after all, left his city sensibilities behind and decided to have his record-release show at the redwood grill, a lodge-like restaurant on a big sur campground. unlike our own deserted

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1118770492014809722005-06-14T10:29:00.000-07:002006-12-25T12:05:44.366-08:00

on the first page of my 8-year-old nephew's class "poem book" assignment, he wrote: i dedicate this poem book to my aunt armeen auntie. because she inspired me with poem books by shel silverstein. i have all four of them. shel silverstein wrote more books. but i have all of his poem books.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1118599195919484122005-06-12T10:45:00.000-07:002005-06-16T17:17:18.820-07:00

first, my photo of elliot and me in masks at the monterey aquarium is was featured on the front page of the mirror project web site.then i learned a couple of my blog entries are listed anonymously in a bibliography of works in english on armenian women.then, i decided to ego-surf and searched for "armeen" on yahoo, to find that "take offs and landings" is the first listing that comes up. the

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1118258131659265612005-06-08T15:35:00.000-07:002005-06-08T15:37:31.550-07:00

i've been countless things to countless people in my life. i suppose i've held dozens of titles. some of my choosing, some involuntarily. "youngest daughter". "writer". "student". "tourist". "armenian". "full-time employee". "oldest friend". "auntie". "girl". but never this. never wife. even as i write it now--this title, this word of what is to be--there seems to be a bit of magic in it. instead

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1117755087744286652005-06-02T16:30:00.000-07:002005-06-02T17:50:01.373-07:00

he proposed. i accepted. (more details to come.)

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1117037451633649402005-05-25T08:55:00.000-07:002005-05-25T09:11:09.733-07:00

random sign on the side of the road, on the way to pioneertown last month.(my fotolog has a few more photos from that adventure.)i'm off to big sur this morning!

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1116957445266773242005-05-24T10:49:00.000-07:002005-05-24T10:59:54.950-07:00

i am blown away by mexican pictures.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1116898304094285862005-05-23T18:03:00.000-07:002005-05-24T09:28:22.223-07:00

don’t be frightened. i generally choose not to use this blog as a platform for controversial topics. but i feel passionately enough to say something about this "intelligent design" madness. (i’ll then go back to my usual writing about birdies and whatnot.) there was a time in my life that i believed humans were no different than plants (only smarter and with a more complex survival instinct). but

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1116832767157775012005-05-22T23:58:00.000-07:002005-05-23T00:19:27.163-07:00

here's the joshua tree desert covered with purple wildflowers a few weeks ago.and here's what landed on me. i hear they're good luck.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1116362655507141012005-05-17T13:30:00.000-07:002005-05-23T00:20:28.140-07:00

i've spotted a number of pretty songbirds hanging around the apartment complex recently. so i thought it would be interesting to put up an audubon birdhouse / feeder on my front porch. you know, to encourage some bird action around the place. today i came home early from work and was thrilled to find 6 or 7 little birds and even a squirrel all gathered around my front door like i was snow white

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1116264755571197172005-05-16T10:25:00.000-07:002005-05-16T12:02:08.376-07:00

the muffin choices in the lunchroom at work are "cheese", "peanut butter and jelly", and "chocolate chocolate chocolate". there are also packets of "lunchables" with obscenely high levels of sodium. in between the candy bars and cheese nips, there's an unrecognizable plastic-wrapped pastry called "pay de pina" (which i figure is some kind of pineapple pie). not that i'd consider it, but

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1116013105963842122005-05-13T12:36:00.000-07:002005-05-13T12:39:46.420-07:00

another from my photo project.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1115852190227774932005-05-11T15:51:00.000-07:002005-05-11T16:37:02.233-07:00

i realized the other day that since my camera's been broken (last september), i've been missing a primary form of expression. like someone who suddenly realized that they've been restricted in their ability to use their voice properly, or use inflections in their speech--i feel like i've been limited to a robotic monotone. i finally decided to spend the $220 to get it fixed just over a month ago.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1113868339039980122005-05-08T00:01:00.000-07:002005-05-09T13:42:53.960-07:00

she emerged from the classroom door like an angel. an angel in a sleeveless green polyester pantsuit. underneath it, she wore a white blouse with flowing sleeves and puffed shoulders like wings. her head was crowned with big blonde curls flowing out of her face and resting on her thin shoulders. this was miss kaplow, kindergarten teacher. it was the first day of school. american school. seeing

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1115059388601403282005-05-02T10:39:00.000-07:002005-05-02T15:59:01.376-07:00

sweet exhaustion! my pal vera and i spent saturday at coachella and sunday in and around joshua tree. too much goodness to try to describe all at once, but mostly, we saw wonderful things: - carpets of desert wildflowers blossoming- snow patrol, zap mama, keane, rilo kiley, wilco, weezer, coldplay (some bands at coachella)- a baby jack rabbit in a cave, an antelope squirrel, a road runner, a

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1114635201770058982005-04-27T13:38:00.000-07:002005-04-27T20:00:31.633-07:00

most tuesdays, i meet n. at the greek burger place across the street from my apartment. we have a quick dinner together before our tuesday evening class. but when i finally got there yesterday after work, i felt like i’d just dropped into my airplane seat after running through an airport to catch a flight. i was completely out of breath--and we had 15 short minutes to talk and for me to wolf down

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1114468664405421282005-04-25T15:21:00.000-07:002005-04-27T20:02:11.066-07:00

this is the weirdest and best kitty picture ever. and incidentally, my blog is three years old today! so i thought i'd answer some questions. 1. who's "sally tomato"?sally tomato is the name of the imprisoned mobster from "breakfast at tiffany's". holly golightly would go to visit "uncle sally" in sing-sing every thursday to give him the "weather report". 2. why did you title your blog after

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1114209883092078892005-04-22T15:13:00.000-07:002005-04-22T18:36:11.340-07:00

so elliot and i are planning a camping trip to big sur over memorial day weekend. all his idea and i’m thrilled! big sur is sort-of miraculous for me. it’s almost as though when i’m there, i zip into a body suit of all new skin. ok, that sounded a little grosser than i intended. (but i think you get what i mean.) it’s like waking up refreshed after months of sleeping. the clean, earthy smell. the

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1114028526095351302005-04-20T12:53:00.000-07:002005-04-27T21:35:21.800-07:00

i'm not being morbid. but there are days (like this one) that as i leave my apartment in the morning, i look around and make a quick assessment: this is what the people that i love would have to sort through if i were to die today. i'm not obsessed with death or anything like that. i like my life. but i'm realistic. i appreciate that it's unpredictable. and for me, this is just practical thought.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1113336941192309242005-04-12T13:07:00.000-07:002005-04-12T13:24:00.873-07:00

confessing secrets, writing emails to future me, and the contents of meentje's purse!

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1111741200445386702005-04-08T23:35:00.000-07:002005-04-10T21:53:02.846-07:00

before L. wore a white wedding dress, veil and all, in the joshua tree desert. before she nested in the little duplex and painted on her walls and cabinets. before she became the mother of one curly-haired boy, then a bright-eyed daughter-- L. had gone to chinatown one year for chinese new year. and she had thought of me. on their drive home, L. and future-husband C. had stopped by the craftsman

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1112651349457245972005-04-04T14:40:00.000-07:002005-04-04T14:49:35.126-07:00

i felt like i was looking at myself, only 10 years ago. she was sitting across from me on the metro saturday afternoon. long, dark hair hastily pulled back. light eyes, bump on the nose, pointy chin. her clothes, stylish but not. vintage handbag stuffed with notebooks. feminine, indian-looking shirt over army-green pants and black converse. and the same kind of jewelry my dad used to tease me

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1112263796854470172005-03-31T01:58:00.000-08:002005-03-31T11:28:08.260-08:00

sometimes i think my life would be a lot easier if i didn't think so much. quite simply, things would be simpler. i'd be happier. lighter. i'd be easier to swap small talk with, and i'd carry on conversations without pause. i wouldn't look past your words or actions. i wouldn't even notice your possible intentions, or categorize everyday situations into greater human dramas. but i'm plagued with

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1112172018443405052005-03-29T23:44:00.000-08:002005-03-31T11:53:23.550-08:00

two heavenly days off from work so far. one to go. i finally got the 669 film in the mail for my land camera yesterday, but then i realized i also had to special order the battery. silly me didn't realize this polaroid runs on batteries! arg. so i'm waiting again for another shipment before i can try taking some photos. at least i should have everything together and get used to the camera by the

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1111607937187891702005-03-23T11:19:00.000-08:002005-03-23T11:58:57.190-08:00

i drove in to work a little later than usual this morning. as i pulled off my freeway exit, i saw grey-bearded man, as i often do. but this time, he was standing next to an old red cadillac, parked down the street. by the opened passenger door, he was leaned over the wheelchair beside him, concentrating on attaching the american flag to the back handle. his tattered army jacket and cardboard "

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1111452908807092032005-03-21T16:50:00.000-08:002005-03-21T17:05:46.640-08:00

fingers tapping on desk now for an hour. an hour. how long can i stare at a white page on the computer screen and not work? i want to work. but my mind has other things in mind. this is my trouble with writing for a living - the daily blank screens staring back at me. what makes being at work extra cuckoo today is the nonstop drip drip dripping 3 feet behind my desk. it’s coming down from a long,

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1111169151370940302005-03-18T09:56:00.000-08:002007-04-06T21:16:36.976-07:00

this gorgeous creature is on its way in the mail! and my faithful nikon is on its way to the camera repair shop. i feel like my world is spinning back around on its axis and soon i won't have to cling to it miserably upside down.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1111097021178039852005-03-17T14:00:00.000-08:002005-04-11T15:34:32.480-07:00

i walked in to work this morning with a grey cloud of lightweight despair. i felt oddly cheated. no one i'd seen on my way to work -- not a single person -- had been wearing green for st. patrick's day. not a thread. i saw no green neckties. no four-leaf clovers. no fluffy green carnations pinned on lapels. not even a half-hearted army green jacket thrown on in the last moment, like me. didn't

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1110845933916486142005-03-14T15:42:00.000-08:002005-03-14T17:57:07.386-08:00

it feels thick and warm like summer today. maybe that's why i'm a little manic. my antsy-ness makes me want to sneak out of work and do something meaningful. yeah, i said meaningful. not my usual summer-ish yearnings like wanting to smell the ocean or feel my bare feet on the cool grass. never fear, there'll be a bounty of those yearnings in june.i feel restless for better reasons, i guess. i

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1110179986571722912005-03-06T23:14:00.000-08:002005-03-17T17:58:53.350-08:00

yeah. i think it's time to start writing again.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1093029032489945482004-08-20T12:06:00.000-07:002005-03-17T17:59:39.150-08:00

having no words of her own, the anguished writer wrapped her dry soul with the intricate and well-knit blanket of another writer's words: "A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it bearing within him the image of a cathedral." -Antoine de Saint-Exupery p.s. all is well.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1090613281402269432004-07-23T12:53:00.000-07:002005-05-11T16:27:04.476-07:00

the question asked, what drives you? would you say your life is driven by fear, guilt, resentment, the need for approval? this was one of the more difficult questions. it was a hard enough exercise to try to determine what i thought the purpose of my life is supposed to be, in an effort to live a life that means something. but everyone’s driven by resentment or the need for acceptance and

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1080674137271016592004-03-30T11:15:00.000-08:002005-03-17T18:00:48.280-08:00

this week i'm going to want more for other people than i want for myself.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1080240127810443312004-03-25T10:29:00.000-08:002005-03-17T18:01:15.573-08:00

so. over a month of silence. but i have good reasons. (and some bad ones.) in brief, i've been spinning in a tornado of work madness and out-of-town family and this very weird apartment-organization frenzy and a big fat armenian wedding (my brother's) and a big gaping hole of un-inspiration but i promise i'll be back soon to clean out the cobwebs around here. i still have a few more things to say

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1077222925705458962004-02-19T12:33:00.000-08:002005-03-17T18:01:54.610-08:00

i’m going to buy myself some hot soup today. preferably with noodles. then i’m going to buy myself a newspaper. and i’m going to wear my powder blue jacket so i am warm and sit by myself in a booth and eat my soup with a big plastic spoon and do the daily crossword and feel content.and 20 years from now, i’ll think about this day with fondness.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1077082673794973312004-02-17T21:37:00.000-08:002005-03-17T18:02:38.723-08:00

someone told me the other day that they loved that i always seems to be smiling. it was one of those TV moments where one points to oneself, looks around, and mouths the word "me?" me? always smiling? i've come to make peace with my cheerlessness lately. i'm settling for melancholy. melancholy and i go way back. i'm comfortable there so i think i'll settle in. at least until my brain has a change

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1077063199994255232004-02-17T16:13:00.000-08:002004-02-17T16:15:14.450-08:00

today is the longest. day. ever.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1074714593513187522004-01-21T11:48:00.000-08:002004-01-21T11:56:43.450-08:00

i’m sick of feeling not good enough. so’s my sister. she blames it on my parents. i blame it on not being good enough. oh, if i could only have a bigger ego. a bigger ego could really get me places. and i wouldn't care so much about making myself a better person. and i'd be oblivious about who thought i was interesting or intelligent or talented--or didn’t. because i’d think i was fantastic.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1074648556312224172004-01-20T17:27:00.000-08:002004-01-20T17:39:30.200-08:00

to do: 1. organize office at home 2. laundry (!!!) 3. look into new, more effective ways to sell car 4. pay overdue cell phone bill 5. keep perspective about life and stay cool when coworkers panic about meaningless problems at work and want you to panic, too 6. refinish dresser 7. write more often for blog 8. update books and CDs on blog 9. be happy 10. stop thinking/worrying/planning about

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1074131142288097092004-01-14T17:41:00.000-08:002004-01-15T10:15:58.700-08:00

if only i could say i was writing my book instead of simply not writing in my blog. last saturday night i dreamt that one of our less popular fish “liberace” jumped out of the aquarium and was squashed dead by a big shoe. and on sunday afternoon, elliot actually found him floating lifelessly on the surface in the plant-heavy part of the aquarium. the place where the food flakes float to when

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1073501285795018212004-01-07T10:47:00.000-08:002004-01-07T10:49:18.793-08:00

i’ve been neglectful of blog. no, actually, i’ve been taking a break from blog. i just didn’t realize i was taking a break. (i just thought i was being neglectful.)

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1072808094578965292003-12-30T10:13:00.000-08:002003-12-30T10:16:13.750-08:00

everything's ok. my brain is just fuzzy from the holidays.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1071479220146651692003-12-15T01:07:00.000-08:002003-12-15T01:07:50.390-08:00

i didn't win a trip to jamaica at my work holiday party. but i did win $2500 in fake money playing black jack in the fake casino.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1068861111677076172003-12-12T16:50:00.000-08:002003-12-12T16:57:37.543-08:00

i want to wrap the weekend around me like a blanket. oh, sweet lovely weekend! tonight, i hope to watch a movie in my pajamas, then work on my goals for the next 6 months. if i'm feeling extra geeky, i'll tackle the next 5 and 10 years as well. maybe i'll even make charts. a magical friday night. every girl's dream. tomorrow, i'm scheduled for some involuntary human interaction (voluntarily

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1071037856358922182003-12-09T22:30:00.000-08:002005-04-11T15:15:20.896-07:00

little brother got married in madera on saturday. not my little brother, but may as well be. when he was 12, i used to take him to the 7-eleven to buy ring pops, cherry icees, and the occasional lottery ticket. now he’s on his honeymoon with his new bride. weird. the night before the wedding and after the rehearsal dinner, natty, amy, and i went to the bride’s house. a hacienda-style house on a

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1070406867495172612003-12-02T15:12:00.000-08:002003-12-02T15:20:00.153-08:00

the long holiday weekend was fine. my two thanksgiving family dinners were fine. my overnight houseguests were comfortable, and fine. my mom’s fancy birthday dinner surprise party that i’ve been tornado-ing with for the past month was fine. my little fish, stella, was very sick but now she's fine. (relief!) my writing assignments at work are fine and my freelance project is fine. i am so so so so

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1069874175847050022003-11-26T11:14:00.000-08:002003-11-26T11:16:47.623-08:00

you can see my joshua tree photos, if you want. (nature shots, mostly)

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1069646876897816772003-11-23T20:07:00.000-08:002005-04-11T15:17:01.880-07:00

this morning at joshua tree national monumentthere are moments at joshua tree that make you feel like you're in outer space. the desert shapes are otherworldly. yet there they are, on earth. and there you are--underneath the vast and heavy star-studded sky feeling as small as the smallest speck of dust. or squinting at a brilliant sun that dares you to open your eyes. or walking through rock

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1069371693376823862003-11-20T15:41:00.000-08:002003-11-20T15:41:59.000-08:00

i need coffee. now.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1069196082623094262003-11-18T14:17:00.000-08:002003-11-18T14:58:08.280-08:00

unlike some people, i don't thrive when i'm wildly busy. i cringe and dread instead. i usually think longingly about escape. and i indulge myself in little ways to keep me sane. today, it was a tiny piece of vegan chocolate cake, sweetened with white grape juice and grains. it brought me happiness for about three minutes. (i write that with full awareness and admission that my present state of

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1068670690590727912003-11-12T12:27:00.000-08:002003-11-12T13:10:37.990-08:00

good grief, is it ralph waldo wednesday already? my days are all blurring together. at this rate, this blog will only consist of ralph waldo wednesdays and thoreau thursdays. "judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams." - ralph waldo emerson last night i dreamt—again—about being lost. it was the second "being lost" dream in the past two weeks. i think my brain's getting

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1068511698274014292003-11-10T16:44:00.000-08:002003-11-10T16:52:33.483-08:00

for the 4th time today, i've told my computer that i hate its guts. (and i've meant it. every time.) is this normal? i've also been having words with several uncooperative and inconsiderate applications on my computer. and my grouchiness is not limited to hardware and software. i've also been grumbling about actual people, inefficient work assignments, slow drivers, loud neighbors, narrow parking

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1067909735032600472003-11-03T17:12:00.000-08:002003-11-03T22:08:31.440-08:00

i’d said i wasn’t going to dress up in a costume this halloween. but in an hour-and-a-half and a lot of foraging through boxes on friday evening, i became a very convincing instant her. later that night, i was pulling up my newly improvized frida skirt and stepping over rain puddles on hollywood blvd--and feeling incredibly giddy. as if i'd snuck out my window and was staying up way past my

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1067626613806421732003-10-31T10:56:00.000-08:002003-10-31T10:56:52.240-08:00

happy halloweenie.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1067479577163929752003-10-29T17:59:00.000-08:002003-10-30T09:57:09.343-08:00

there are formidable fires chewing up and spitting out mouthfuls of southern california. and when i walk outside, i sense an eerie deadness in the air that i think i may only be imagining. but sometimes an ash lands on my arm or cheek. and i wonder how far it's traveled. i decided to go on a television-fast about two weeks ago, so i haven't seen the non-stop footage of burning hills or

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1067380738500193592003-10-28T14:37:00.000-08:002003-10-28T14:44:40.366-08:00

subodh mahato’s job in his west bengal village in india is to tug a rope attached to a grass-mat ceiling fan. he pulls at this rope to cool the post office for 6 hours every day--except for the 10 blessed minutes he takes to rest and eat his lunch. he now makes, after 17 years of promotions, $45 dollars per month. all of which goes to support his extended family of 13. i’m sure he’s proud that

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1066869872698879852003-10-22T17:36:00.000-07:002005-04-28T00:32:11.096-07:00

"a man finds room in the few square inches of his face for the traits of all his ancestors; for the expression of all his history, and his wants."- ralph waldo emersoni started writing last night. no, really writing. because with the exception of any writing i did back in school and the past few years at work--my personal relationship with writing has been more like the occasional torrid affair.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1066350582069047372003-10-16T17:29:00.000-07:002003-10-16T17:31:18.683-07:00

"not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." - henry david thoreau

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1066266103474564192003-10-15T17:53:00.000-07:002003-10-16T17:30:27.290-07:00

driving through the airport last night, i rolled down my window hoping for cool night air. instead, i was met with an unexpected gust of airport-smell. that thick, lovely brew of car exhaust, cigarette smoke, and sweat. an oddly delicious smell i didn't even know i knew until it rushed in the car and grabbed me by the tear ducts. i didn't cry. but i wanted to. damn manipulative sense of

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1066169359562965092003-10-14T14:55:00.000-07:002003-10-14T15:13:09.460-07:00

one of our new fishees, stella, spilled out like a piñata and gave birth on sunday morning. it’s a girl! and boy. and boy and girl and girl and girl and boy. (i think.) these, apparently, were the fittest survivors of the bunch--the ones who weren’t immediately gobbled up by stella or stan or the two little piggies (who are kind-of mean and eat everything). so i’ve managed to catch these

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1065810481790337852003-10-10T11:26:00.000-07:002003-10-10T11:47:06.643-07:00

elliot and i adopted 7 fish and a 55-gallon freshwater aquarium last sunday from an older gentleman and his wife, whose frail jogging-suited body was literally dripping with gold. (but that's beside the point.) they were moving out of their white house on christmas tree lane and didn't want their aquarium anymore. elliot and i have agreed that they never, ever cleaned it. but we did. last

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1065653384978647322003-10-08T15:47:00.000-07:002003-10-08T15:49:44.430-07:00

"when it is dark enough, you can see the stars." - ralph waldo emerson just so you know, i'm watching for stars. i think i'm bound to see them any day now--all shiny and hopeful. it's amazing how long you can go, just groping in the dark to find a way through your days.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1065481628765645202003-10-06T16:06:00.000-07:002003-10-06T16:07:40.876-07:00

ever been in the middle of a conversation where you start to tell a story, and halfway through it, you realize you've bored yourself?

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1065131934958452782003-10-02T14:54:00.000-07:002003-10-02T15:07:06.930-07:00

ok, i admit i’ve been flaky. i'd proclaimed that wednesdays would be known thereafter as “ralph waldo wednesdays” but i didn’t follow through. sorry ralph. sorry everyone. to make amends, i hereby dedicate this greeting card to each and every one of you. and in honor of “thoreau thursdays”--i offer this bit of wisdom and encouragement to tape onto your bathroom mirror: “live the life you have

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1064967224985469502003-09-30T17:04:00.000-07:002003-09-30T17:36:01.560-07:00

my doctor’s front desk receptionist cancelled my appointment for this afternoon, after making me wait 2 months for the 6 lucky minutes in the presence of my physician. so instead, i can spend the time catching up on the insane amounts of word-organization jobs that are coming across my desk these days. i just can’t call it “writing” anymore. it’s too painfully uncreative. guess i'll wait another

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1063821291611649292003-09-17T10:46:00.000-07:002003-09-17T10:56:27.653-07:00

last night i dreamt we were in a three-row station wagon driven by paul mccartney. john lennon was in the second row behind him, and elliot and i rode in the back seat. we were speeding on an empty highway through unbelievable countryside in ireland, and the two of them were happily harmonizing one of their songs. paul mccartney had both hands on the wheel, moving it right and left like they do

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1063225988621950252003-09-10T13:27:00.000-07:002003-09-10T13:54:08.950-07:00

dearest log, i am not a ray of sunshine. earlier i was sleepy. in pain. (teeth hurt.) then i was annoyed. then i felt feisty. confident. then stressed out. and incredulous. then i was kind-of funny. then bored. inpatient. (very inpatient.) then frustrated. and complainy. then suddenly self-aware. and then i felt bad for being such a self-involved jerk. but mostly, i’ve been grumpy. for

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1062713261342498492003-09-04T15:07:00.000-07:002003-09-04T15:11:47.906-07:00

i’m getting my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow and sadly, that is the most interesting thing going on these days, hence the lack of blogging. it’s a sad, sad day when i say teeth-pulling is interesting. aargh. i’m bored. i'm frustrated. i’m restless. i want to do so much but i usually can't and when i can, i don't want to do anything. and sometimes i want to unzip my skin, climb out, and leave

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1062390230935279192003-08-31T21:23:00.000-07:002005-04-11T15:20:32.066-07:00

my 6-year-old niece and i were sitting together in the shallow end of the pool today when she started poking me in my chest. "excuse me, but what are you doing?" i asked her blankly. "i'm hitting your boom-booms," she replied, equally matter-of-factly. "i wouldn't do that if i were you," i continued, "after all, you're going to have boom-booms of your own one day." to which she replied by

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1062136393204883232003-08-28T22:53:00.000-07:002003-08-28T22:58:59.180-07:00

"the aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware." - henry miller i placed my small basket-full of items on the checkout conveyor belt. whole wheat flour, feta cheese, and pasta for dinner later. also among my findings was a small, square greeting card with a simple quote from henry miller. i could have easily scrawled the quotation on a

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1062127391089955372003-08-28T20:23:00.000-07:002003-08-28T20:23:11.086-07:00

salvation.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1061489464902140622003-08-21T11:11:00.000-07:002003-08-21T11:11:05.040-07:00

i want to go swimming. i want to hold my nose and jump in the deep end like a canonball. i want to push off the side with my feet and shoot quickly to the bottom. i want to hear water getting heavier. i want to look up at the blue sky waving brightly above me and spotted sunlight twinkling in the water. i want to feel the roughness of the pool floor with my toes. i want to float to the surface

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1061340105317285672003-08-19T17:41:00.000-07:002003-08-19T17:44:31.476-07:00

incidentally, lisa whiteman has some super writing about "blackout 2003". almost makes me wish i'd been there.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1061322300615086102003-08-19T12:45:00.000-07:002003-08-19T12:47:20.583-07:00

here it is, my brand new baby fotolog: 1000 easy steps.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1061083069827388842003-08-16T18:17:00.000-07:002003-08-16T18:36:13.706-07:00

you know that girl you saw on the freeway today? the girl in the trooper with the two braids and green t-shirt and "ponch" sunglasses? the girl dancing to classic michael jackson at very high volume, singing "i wanna rock with you"? the very same girl whose boyfriend once told her she dances like a very young janet jackson? yeah, that was me. i'm having a good saturday.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1060888570955730442003-08-14T12:16:00.000-07:002003-08-14T15:34:15.423-07:00

(just one moment while i stop laughing and pick myself off the floor.) i'm so glad i unknowingly strengthened my candidacy for sexiest female blogger with an unsexy tongue story. (i vote for rabbit.)

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1060886329692369122003-08-14T11:38:00.000-07:002003-08-14T11:45:24.003-07:00

my blog is finally fixed!! (smiling ear to ear to ear) funny how my blog broke right around the time i was writing about the cutting out of a tongue. (last thursday's entry that you never saw below.) hmm.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1060285084168215522003-08-07T12:38:00.000-07:002003-08-14T17:51:34.423-07:00

the tale of two tongues it was a medical breakthrough. the man received a new tongue. the new tongue seemed to like its new mouth. and the side effect of the new tongue was new hope. (but sadly, no new taste buds.) the new tongue was once the old tongue of another man, a brain-dead donor. it was cut out of his brain-dead mouth while he was sleeping. and he’d been sleeping a long, long time.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1060109586410741372003-08-05T11:53:00.000-07:002003-08-05T11:53:06.333-07:00

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1059692884619717612003-07-31T16:08:00.000-07:002003-07-31T17:17:52.130-07:00

sometimes i forget i haven’t lived here all my life. but then i remember things. like the time i was five years old and thirsty at the side of a road. i was grasping my teddy bear by the ear. and it was tearing off. every hazy, dream-like detail is in shades of brown and brick-red and yellow. the narrow, cracking road was running through a reddish desert, spotted with dry shrubs. the lack of

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1059604660186563622003-07-30T15:37:00.000-07:002003-07-31T17:29:40.333-07:00

i’m a responsible grownup, dammit. (or maybe a hippie.) here’s why: 1. i quit smoking, as you know, four months ago. 2. i also quit refined white sugar three weeks ago, which was almost as hard. (how i miss you, sweet sweet sugar!) 3. i’ve cut down on enriched white flour. (ok, this one's not so hard.) 4. i use sunscreen on my face. every day. 5. i pay my bills on time. (the mean credit

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1059505133016732982003-07-29T11:58:00.000-07:002003-07-29T12:03:30.040-07:00

the days pass by and i have no stories. i'm uninspired. not bored. not thrilled. just...there. (photo by elliot)

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1058988549514971492003-07-23T12:29:00.000-07:002003-07-23T13:13:38.083-07:00

the cold smell of my window air-conditioning unit has been triggering a bittersweet...something. a sense of loss—i think it’s nostalgia. i usually turn in on, lean directly into it and let it cool my face. it smells delicious and i'd gulp it in if i could. in the otherwise smothering summer heat of my second-floor apartment, it is Instant Comfort. but this is the smell that's been stirring up a

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1058816399257274132003-07-21T12:39:00.000-07:002003-07-21T12:42:25.103-07:00

a weekend, in brief: happy aloha friday left work early project clean-apartment george’s fresh garden vegetables phillipe’s! free baseball game at dodger stadium preferred parking peanuts talk of weddings welcome to the jungle born in a house off the ave 60 exit with sloping floors the sopranos dvd super mario cart toad early breakfast corn flake-covered french toast green tabasco public

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1058484792463878152003-07-17T16:33:00.000-07:002003-07-17T16:33:30.540-07:00

go. see. irving. ok? it will make them feel good. nyc tonight. tomorrow night in brooklyn.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1058482288141804942003-07-17T15:51:00.000-07:002003-07-17T15:53:07.293-07:00

"comments" were sick and now they're well! thanks for the email, j.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1058411373332526822003-07-16T20:09:00.000-07:002003-07-16T20:14:05.576-07:00

it is 7:59 pm and i am still at work. i've been rearranging words for the past 9 hours. just thought you should know. in case you thought i was being lazy (just a little. sometimes) or depressed (often. but not now) or avoiding blog again (shocking, i know. but it's been known to happen). i simply haven't had the luxury of blog this week. i like the word "blog". blog is a very versatile

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1057688669572502392003-07-08T11:24:00.000-07:002003-07-08T11:25:48.876-07:00

last night i told elliot about an article i read about the poisons of refined sugar. this morning, there was a formidable skull-and-crossbones scrawled in black ink across my pink-and-white bag of C&H.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1057616277592886652003-07-07T15:17:00.000-07:002003-07-07T15:25:34.800-07:00

why do i always get inspired to blog when i'm not supposed to?

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1057443202115052582003-07-05T15:13:00.000-07:002003-07-05T15:32:02.590-07:00

san francisco has a hot date tonight with irving, the band. (so could you.) here was thursday at spaceland.

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3471721.post-1057266599852654542003-07-03T14:09:00.000-07:002003-07-03T14:21:17.280-07:00

why i didn’t write my own blog entry today: "i fear chiefly lest my expression may not be extravagant enough, may not wander far enough beyond the narrow limit of my daily experience, so as to be adequate to the truth of which i have been convinced." - henry david thoreau, old pal of ralph waldo emerson (of "ralph waldo wednesday" fame)

armeenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07989148548232098791noreply@blogger.com0