no news is good news
i was sitting across my mom when she slowly turned the newspaper page she was reading and involuntarily let out a long, exhausted sigh. that single exhalation pretty much sums up everything i've been feeling about the news lately. in fact, i've found myself shutting off to it these days.
i still read it online, as always. i still feel the usual pangs of frustration, sadness, anxiety, empathy. but afterwards, instead of absorbing it and letting it stew in my blood for a while, i turn off. as though i feel i can't spare the emotion. the bad news is endless. it is selfish, i know. but i'm finding i don't want to learn about death tolls or theorized motives of suicide bombers. i don't want to read about senseless deaths of children or the squabbling of politicians or the injustices and inhumanities around the globe. and i certainly don't want to read about narcissistic celebrity lunatics and their girlfriends. i want to live my life the best that i can, being grateful and not letting the world's troubles flatten me out. but i can't sit still or float by selfishly in my bubble. i feel helpless. i find myself angry a lot. misanthropic, even. my positive, compassionate self--the one that smiles at strangers--goes into hiding. and soon even headline-skimming makes me want to stay in bed for a week. is it just me?
i am keenly aware that this is a luxury--this freedom to "shut myself off" when i feel overwhelmed by the rumblings of the world. many people in others parts of the world don't have this luxury. having been brought to the states at a very young age from a war-torn country, i'm one of the lucky ones.