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6.08.2005 | link |

wife  

i've been countless things to countless people in my life. i suppose i've held dozens of titles. some of my choosing, some involuntarily. "youngest daughter". "writer". "student". "tourist". "armenian". "full-time employee". "oldest friend". "auntie". "girl".

but never this. never wife.

even as i write it now--this title, this word of what is to be--there seems to be a bit of magic in it. instead of mature, sensible, grown-up thoughts, i've been flooded with the hopefulness and anticipation of a 13-year-old. i've never been one who's been very interested in precious jewelry, but i can't stop looking at my engagement ring and thinking: "shiny!" and today, for twenty minutes, i tried out various signatures of my name-to-be on a piece of copier paper.

funny. there's an urge in me to dig into this strange phenomenon and overthink it like i do everything else. to dissect it and define it in terms of the human psyche's need for rituals and rites of passage. to make myself snap out of it.

but no. i've decided. i think i'm just going to go with it for now.


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