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4.20.2005 | link |


i'm not being morbid. but there are days (like this one) that as i leave my apartment in the morning, i look around and make a quick assessment: this is what the people that i love would have to sort through if i were to die today. i'm not obsessed with death or anything like that. i like my life. but i'm realistic. i appreciate that it's unpredictable. and for me, this is just practical thought.

my grappling with the objects that surround (and ultimately define) a life is ongoing. this idea was reinforced after i helped sort out my grandmother's possessions when she passed away. objects tell your stories. and when i die, i'll leave a few stories behind. it's inevitable. but what stories do i want my objects to tell?

i have stacks of paper and envelopes to sort through and file away. rooms and closets to organize. boxes to throw out. purchased gifts and greeting cards to mail. purses to clean out. journals and old letters to inspect. endless paper scraps and notebooks and lists and hopes and secrets and prayers to sort out. paintings to finish painting, embroidery to finish stitching, scarves to finish knitting, and writings to finish writing. there is still so much to be done.

so i hope today's not my day to die.

"only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone."
- pablo picasso

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