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7.30.2003 | link |


i’m a responsible grownup, dammit. (or maybe a hippie.) here’s why:

1. i quit smoking, as you know, four months ago.
2. i also quit refined white sugar three weeks ago, which was almost as hard. (how i miss you, sweet sweet sugar!)
3. i’ve cut down on enriched white flour. (ok, this one's not so hard.)
4. i use sunscreen on my face. every day.
5. i pay my bills on time. (the mean credit card companies might disagree.)
6. i’m weaning myself off the snooze button to redefine myself as an early riser. (because, of course, i’ve romanticized the movie-version of myself sitting by an open window with cup of coffee in hand, rested and meditative, in the quiet of the early morning.)(no, i will NOT quit coffee. are you mad?)
7. and every morning, i stumble out of my apartment and drive, half-asleep and in horrible clothing, to the gym to climb up and down imaginary hills. morning is the best time to go to the gym because i’m accompanied by socializing senior citizens and, of course, my darling cousin—whom i refer to lovingly as the diet-and-exercise-nazi.

god, i feel boring. there’s always the risk of becoming so focused on the Outside that the Inside becomes neglected. but if i don’t make Outside a priority, i become preoccupied with parts of my Inside that aren’t so pretty—like the more-boring feelings of being not-foxy-enough. miserable perceptions that have plagued me since i was 11.

so i’ve respectfully asked insight and inner-growth and life-contemplation to take a seat and wait their turn. right now i’m a little busy with the tangible.

Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

You gotta have a body.
- Jayne Mansfield

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