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4.25.2003 | link |


things might get interesting

i’ve been carrying around a must-blog burden for days. then the thought suddenly crossed my mind that my blog's one-year anniversary was probably coming up. coincidentally, i checked on it today and discovered that today, in fact, is my blog's birthday. my "blogiversary."

so it's been one year. and funny where i find myself: emerging from the last few weeks like i’m crawling from the trenches.

i don’t mean to sound overly dramatic. but ever since i’ve returned from india, every moment that i haven’t been insanely busy at work, i’ve basically been unearthing everything i am and throwing everything i value around and upside down. now, i’m standing dizzily in the chaos of my freshly-challenged mind – squinting at the haze and starting to determine what i need to do first. deciding what to meticulously untangle or gently replant or clobber or toss out.

i feel a bit like a car wreck. but it’s ok. truly. cause i read once that “glass shines brighter when it's broken.”

so in all the upheaval, i guess i've been kind-of avoiding blog. it hasn’t exactly been the platform i’ve wanted to expose all my madness on. not this madness, anyway. it just feels a little too raw. and, well, blogging requires a certain amount of cool, you know? one never wants to throw one’s madness around haphazardly. it’s very hard to blog without being strategic or self-aware. and i haven’t really cared about sounding “cool” lately. i don’t mean “cool=laid-back” — i mean “cool=james dean” or “cool=the fonz.”

i don't want to lie—i know i’m still a sucker for cool. but my priorities have shifted a bit. and it isn't just the culture shock talking.

but hey. this is all beside the point. it’s ma blog’s birthday, dammit, and i love my blog. because with all of the highs and lows this past year, i’m truly grateful to have it documented this way. so although i didn't do anything special for my blog's birthday like a cool site redesign, i did dig through my archives and compile a "best of" list.

sorry. it's completely un-fonz-like. but here it is anyway: (in chronological order)

:: so contrived?

:: grown up now

:: armenian girl

:: good-bye landlady from hell

:: 4-ft-tall grandmother

:: soap-boy

:: summer night

:: a dead man’s things

:: friend-who-hates-ants

:: god bless dennis

:: immortal

:: my love is on the phone

:: dear future me

:: the blob complex

:: a brain conversation

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