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2.03.2003 | link |


there's a lot on my mind today.

i hate to write about things when they're not for sure yet. but it would be impossible to write about anything else. (it's all i've been thinking about.) so i guess i'll just tell you there's a good chance that i'll be traveling to the other side of the planet in 15 days.

if i'm going (i'll know tomorrow), i'll be accompanying my father as he travels to rural villages in sri lanka and southern india. it's a goodwill visit on behalf of his church, which supports indian missionaries there. although i'm not a part of his church (and don't really know how i feel about that whole thing)---i would be documenting the trip for him, recording names, events, and my observations. an assignment i was made for. in the back of the room. watching.

this all came about within the last 3 days. (no one can ever accuse me of not being spontaneous.) at first i was overcome with excitement at the very idea--it speaks to the writer and reader and romantic in me. (despite the fact that when i've yearned to travel--even to india--this wasn't exactly what i had in mind.) it's an rare opportunity to spend time with my dad (who i've always wanted to travel with) and see him at work at something that is very close to his heart. and, it puts almost 9000 miles between my usual surroundings and my self. culture shock and semi-isolation serve as powerful catalysts for writing. which is how i'd be spending most of my time.

but now certain realities have started setting in. visas, immunization shots, water purification tablets...apprehension about leaving the comforts (and relative safety) of home. uneasiness about facing some of my "biggee" issues that i conveniently ignore from day to day: god. poverty. humanity. etc. so now, i'm leaning more towards the anxiety end of the "excitement." i feel oddly emotional. only one thing is for sure, this would be an intensely challenging trip.

so i guess we'll see...tomorrow.

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