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9.20.2002 | link |


so i decided to call the counseling referral service offered by my company. they say that “sometimes, personal problems are too big to solve alone.” and they promise to return me to a “healthy, productive lifestyle.”


the woman on the other end of the phone called me “miss.” she went down her computer form of questions one by one and i could hear her tapping out my “confidential” information on her keyboard. she read off her script that a trained professional would be calling me back within 24 hours to set up an appointment and if for any reason i don’t hear back, i should call the number again…

i could’ve sworn she popped her gum when she asked me to “summarize” my problem.

after 10 humiliating minutes, i hung up feeling like i just ordered a pizza.

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