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5.08.2002 | link |


i just had one of those sudden recollections that's triggered by distinct smells or songs and basically punches you in the face.

it was a memory of a night many years ago. a weeknight. it had been one of those uneventful, cloudy days that leave you feeling rather bored and restless and vaguely pensive. I was rummaging through my CDs as I often do, thinking how little I liked any of them anymore and that a trip to the record store was long overdue.

so what finally ended up in my CD player was an old compilation CD, and a really cool version of doris day singing “perhaps perhaps perhaps.” sentimental song. but nothing to cry about, right? except that I burst into tears. you know, one of those wild, inconsolable cries that bruises your chest and makes you want to throw things and clogs up your nose and leaves you gasping for air.

i don't really remember why. but i remember the cry.

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